Hello! Welcome to my blog. Here are today's tails!

I woke up at 7:00 and ate my Beneful. Then Fat Lard and I sat around the table while the humans ate their breakfast-something they call cinnamon rolls. Then all the humans got dressed in nice clothes and got into the giant blue van. Fat Lard and I had to go into the freezer room. It was very cold. Finally, after many, many hours, De Highly Favored One opened the door and let me and Fat Lard out. Sadly, we had to go outside anyway. I will blog tonight too, but that is all I have done today so far. 

Here is todays advice column:

 Chibi Dog,

 

As I read your column, I am inspired by your liberal admission of accepting cats as – apparently- equals. How did you come to this conclusion, and is there anything I can do to can do to persuade the canines of my household that I am a force to be reckoned with.

 

Felicity Furrs

Dear Felicity,

Greetings! I understand that you have some pups in your home that don't know that we are equals (sort of.) Tell them to read my advice column about Randy Rottwieler. Please tell them Chibi knows that cats are good. By the way, I love your name Felicity. I hope you have a purrrfect day!

~Chibi

Joke:

Teacher: How long is the dog's tail, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Ruff-ly three inches.

Good Morning World!

  Ah, this morning I woke up to sunshine on my face and a feeling that I would have a great day. I looked at the clock radio on the bedside lamp/table. 6:00 a.m. I leapt out of bed and stretched. Then I went to see what Fat Lard was doing. As usual, he was asleep on the living room floor. I pawed his back. "Fat Lard, wake up!" He grunted and rolled over onto his back. Why did I always have to do things the hard way? I began to bite his ears. Not hard, mind you. But enough to make him wake. 

His eyes opened slowly, then he saw me and got up immediately. "Sorry, honey. I didn't mean to sleep in again." he said in his deep, loud voice. Then he wheezed, gagged, and coughed. I rolled my eyes. 

"Fat Lard, do not call me honey. Call me Chibi, or Your Most High Beautifulness. Preferably the latter." 

"Can I call you Y.M.H.B. for short?"

"No!!!"

Then we went to the wall and pressed the secret button that is hidden beneath the electric outlet. The floor folded in beneath us, and we slid down the long slide. When we reached the bottom, the other pets were already there. Molly the cat welcomed us and we sat in our places. I sat next to Fat Lard. Next to me was Fat Louie, Tumbleweed, and Misha. I guess Molly asked Fat Louie to kitten-sit for Misha and Tumbleweed. They are only about 6 months old. 

The underground cave is pretty simple. It has hard-packed dirt as floor and walls. There are some towels (courtesy of the laundry basket) laid down for seats. In the front, the ground rises up two feet for a stage, also made of hard packed dirt. In the corner the cats have stashed treats for them. Fat Lard and I have stashed bacon the the humans think we have eaten.

Molly walked center stage and rose to her back paws. "Welcome Cats and Dogs. We are pleased to have you here for the meeting of the pets."

The neighborhood cats meowed and woofed."

"Today we will be discussing tips on paw-cleaning..."

Cats cheered.

        "... Doggy-digging..."

         Dogs barked.

"...and interviewing Scruffy, the neighbor cat."  

                      ♣                                             ♣                                       ♣

 Two hours later Mack and I went back o the house and talked abot the meeting. The humans were up watching television. I couldn't resist going to watch it with them. 

"Hi Chibi! Where have you been?" said De One With No Fur.

If only he knew...

Well after a long time I went back to sleep. Then I had to wake up again and do my job- guarding the house.

Well, that's all I have done today so far. Hope things get more interesting for your sake, fans.

Keep Wagging!

~Chibi~

By the way

That is the end of the advice column for tonight.

That was just to get you caught up. Now I will tell you about the day and give you an advice column. Oops! De Highly Favored One is mad because I have been on the computer too long I will catch up tomorrow. 

♥Chibi♥

Randy Rotweiler

dear great chibi, 

I have an embarrassing problem. There's no easy way to say it, so I
will just spill it. I am terrified of my humans new cat, who they call
snowflake. he has evil, dark eyes that reveal his intention to do away
with me. so far this week, he has left a hairball in my water dish, a
piece of kitty roca in my bed, and worst of all....he terrorizes my
sleep with his threatening growl. I know my humans see what's
happening, they laugh and use the flashy box at my wide eyed fear.
please advise, before the devil cat strikes again.

randy rotweiler

Dear Randy,

   Congratulations! You have identified a problem that many dogs can not. Fear of an inferior species. I want to personally thank-you for coming forth. I adore your breed, by the way. Now, about Snowflake. He (or she) is obviously a little on the dark side. But think of yourself as Snowflake. Cats are a species that can grow very attached to their home; Snowflake was just torn away from his. He is probably lonely and sad. He doesn't want to make friends because he fears if he does, he will grow too attached. He doesn't want to feel that hurt again. What you need to do is make friends with Snowflake. Smile at him, offer him your extra piece of bacon. Welcome him to your home, and make sure he knows it is his now too. Soon you will be best friends with Snowlake, and he will be lulling you to sleep with his soft, rusty purr. 

Most Sincerely,

Chibi D. Pug

Queenie La Teetha

Dear Chibi,

did you ever wish you were a different breed? everyone calls me glorious
and beautiful....but I just feel like a giant. I am a great dane and I
long to be a pug, like you. how can I stop hating my huge body?

queenie La teetha

Dear Queenie,

I know we pugs seem glamorous and beautiful. But let me tell you something. Whenever people describe pugs, do you know what they say? "They're so ugly!" "Their faces are smashed in!" "They look kind of scary!" Queenie, I know you long to be a different breed, but you don't need to be! Think of all the upsides to being you. You can run fast, faster than any pug in the world. People look at you and think: "What a gorgeous dog!" They look at me and think: "It's so ugly it's cute!" ♥So really, remember, you ARE beautiful.♥

~Chibi☺

Ima Hound

dear chibi, 

how do I get my humans to tivo some things I would like to see, like Dog
Whisperer, dog the bounty hunter, and obviously, Oprah. My humans seem
to prefer really dumb science fiction shows and news. Yuck! please
help.

Ima hound

 Hey Ima

 Television. I love it! It just fascinates me to sit and stare at the screen for hours and hours without looking away. My vet says it is an unhealthy habit. But I know that television is more useful than they think. I love to sit and stare at the figures moving across the colorful screen.

Sorry that your folks think that boring television is interesting. But I have a solution I think you will like! Try introducing them to your shows. Whenever you see a TV show you like, bark. Race to the screen and yip yip yip!

They will be curious to watch. Then, they will start watching whatever you bark and yip at! 

Enjoy television Ima

 ~Cheebs

A. Jean Beagle

Dear Dr. Chibi,

 

Why does my highly favored one continue filling food bowl with dry, tasteless kibble. Last week, he fed me a piece of something called bacon, and the only way I could think to show him how much I liked was to puke it up and eat it again. I don’t think he understood what I was trying to say. You are my only hope.

 

A.      Jean Beagle

Dear Jean,

I, too, have suffered from bad dog food. But this answer is so simple I'm surprised you haven't figured it on your own! Simply don't eat the food that you don't like. Your human no doubt loves you and wants what is best for you. So he/she will eventually figure out that the dog food he is currently feeding you is in the "not good" column. By the way, it's best not to throw up your food when it's something tasty, because then they will think that bacon makes you sick. Don't worry though! There are lots of other treats, too. 

                        Yours truly,

Chibi 

Chibi's Advice Column

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't blogged in a super long time. See, my owners put passwords on their accounts. It took me awhile to crack De Highly Favored One's.

Anyway, I have thought up a plan to help pugs from all around with their problems. I can't believe how may doggies had problems! Here are some. Every day there will be a new question.  I will always post the answers on my blog! Please read them! I'm sure they will make your tail wag!

Dear Ms. Pug,

 

My chosen one will not let me sleep in her bed. She insists that I sleep in a soft round container at the end of her bed. What do I need to do to convince her that I need to share her bed for her to keep ‘chosen one’ status?

 

Respectfully,

 

Rosa A. Chihuahua

 Dear Rosa, 

Poor thing! I feel so sorry for you. Luckily, the answer to this problem is simple and beneficial. 

Step 1: At night when your chosen one goes to bed, sit beside the bed and stare helplessly at her. If she fails to see you, whine a little. She will no doubt Tell you to go sleep in your bed, but just tune her out for now.

Step 2: Human will probably put you into your "container." Don't worry! You've not failed. Just get out of your bed and sit next to hers again. This time, when she looks at you, give your saddest look. I'm talking big eyes and droopy ears lady.  

Viola! 

She will pick you up and snuggle with you. Then go to her legs (the coldest part of the human body) and remind her you will warm those also. 

 Well, I hope it works Rosa. Don't worry it has never failed me or my friends. If it doesn't, try tearing up your container so you won't have a place to sleep. Or both. Then she will have no choice!

                                ~Chibi~

1/09/09

Greetings! I'm Chibi D. Pug, and here are today's tails!

I woke up at 7:00 this morning. The air outside was fresh and dewey. The Highly Favored One

was still sleeping on my bed. Very quietly I hopped off the bed and went into the T.V. room. Fat Lard

was asleep on the floor. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. His ears droop, his tail sags, yet he 

snores louder then a lawn mower. 

Everybody left the house except De One With No Fur. I decided to take a nap. I rested for a long time. Then I read my fan mail. A little after 3:00, De Highly favored one came home from school.

"Hi Chibi!" she greeted me with her beaming smile. She is reading a book now while I blog.

That's all fur today, folks! Thanks for reading! 

Hi, I'm Chibi

Hi! I'm Chibi, and I'm a Chinese Pug. My interests are snoozing, playing, and watching television. My favorite sport is running, and I have a lot of experience in doing so.

I have a lot of friends and family, so here are their names:

De Highly Favored One: She is my human. She's very nice. I sleep in her bed every night, and boy is it comfy!

De One With No Fur: This guy is big, but he has a big, soft, heart. Father of De Highly Favored One.

De One in De Kitchen: This person is always cooking. If you go up to her you might get snacks!

De One In Glasses: This person needs to decide if he likes me or not. I hear him say: "Chibi is stupid," yet he cuddles with me all the time! Humans!

De Tough Guy: This person is nice, but I haven't got a lot of information on him.

De Mean-Eyed Guy: This guy is very mean. One would be wise to avoid him.

So.. There you have it! That is my family. I can't wait to post about my day tomorrow!

Well, see you next time!

♥Chibi♥

P.S My Friend's name is Mack, but I call him Fat Lard. If you saw him, you'd understand